That Is Bully!

For real. The Wizards' second round pick, 19 year old Andray Blatche, was shot in the chest early Sunday morning in Alexandria, Virginia, near D.C. Link to Washington Post story.

According to the newspaper, Blatche and his pals were traveling home at 6 am on Sunday morning, when the incident occurred.

Holy crap!

We have two questions: 1) What was the little guy doing coming home at 6 am Sunday morning? and 2) Who knew crackhead carjackers were working at 6 am?

There is some good news, however. The Wizards website is reporting that Blatche was released yesterday from the hospital.

Picture from nba.com
Andray Blatche player page.

Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins extended his hitting streak to 32 games tonight, good for the longest EVER, (good-naturedly banging our fist on the table) EV-VER, in Phillies history. Ed Delahanty held the previous record, 31 games, in 1899.

At least there was something to cheer about. The Phillies dropped their second straight to the not good -- despite their payroll -- New York Mets. When Houston wins tonight, and they will win, as THEY ARE IN A PLAYOFF RACE, the playoff ineligible Phillies will fall 2.5 back in the Wild Card race.

With four games to play, tonight's Phillies loss pretty much eliminates them. Who told you so?

Now, Jimmy Rollins is the only story.

With that said, some Phillies watchers, are interested to see if the Charlie Manuel-led club will out-win Larry Bowa.

Bowa managed the Phillies for four seasons. The team won 86 games three times and 80 games once. At present, the Phils have 84 victories.

Photo: Miles Kennedy/AP

Today's New York Post reports that Jason Kidd
thinks the Nets are all set to do some damage in the East in 06.

Translated, Kidd thinks that the power forwardless Nets with RJ and Vinsanity running the wings are all he needs for success.

With all due respect to J-Kidd, truly one of the most bully players in the NBA during the last decade, he seems to forget that Vince Carter HAS NO HEART. He rarely plays all the games on the schedule.

In 99, he did not play 82 games, just 50. In 02, only 60. In O3, just 43. And at the beginning of 05, he told Raptors officials he needed out, he just could not play in Toronto.

You would think with all Vince's "injuries" that he is just not durable. We beg to differ. We think he just does not like to play basketball.


(Fair enough, we do not like to write briefs.)



Picture: From www.basket-plus.com.

Yesterday, the Philadelphia 76ers signed instant journeyman Lee Nailon (FN1) to buttress, what is likely, the very worst bench in the NBA (FN2).

Nailon will join his sixth team in as many seasons -- well on his way to Tony Massenburg status (FN3). He was with the Hornets in 01, 02 and 05, the Knicks in 03, and 04 was split between the Hawks, Magic and Cavs. With the exception of the 02 and 03 Hornets, all of Nailon's teams have been horrendous. Last year's Hornets won 18 games.

At this time, we digress, for it would be negligent for us to fail to point out that Nailon is one of those guys who places multiple wrist bands on his bicep region.

But back to our point.

At present, the Sixers bench is so bad, it would actually be impossible to overstate its badness.

In 05, for a seventh seed, the Sixers bench was not that terrible. Led by veteran sixth man, Aaron "Blue" McKie, and fellow Temple alumnus, Marc "I Use Lots Of Profanity Whilst Playing" Jackson, plus two serviceable, NBA-regulation guards, John Salmons and Willie Green, the Sixers had some capable role players to relieve the starting five. And in Green and Jackson, they also had fairly good fill-in starters when necessary.

Now, saving Salmons, all are gone. McKie was Allan Houston'd. Jackson was given away to the Nets. Check that. Billy King paid Rod Thorn to take Marc Jackson. And Willie "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" Green spectacularly tore up one of his knees and is out for the entire 06 season.

In addition to Nailon and Salmons, the Sixers bench now consists of the following players with NBA experience: Steve Hunter, Kevin Ollie and Michael Bradley.

Bradley played in 18 games last season. He was not injured. He played in two games for our heroes after coming to town in the Webber deal.

How about the rest?

They are: Deng Gai, Louis Williams, and Shavlick Randolph.

Unless Billy King has gone totally nuts, we assume only one of the three will actually make the fifteen man roster.

That leaves more room for the Lee Nailons of the NBA to join the Philadelphia 76ers.

Speaking of which, I wonder what Rod Strickland is up to? Or Kendall Gill? Or how about these guys: Zendon Hamilton, Amal McCaskill, Oliver "Fat" Miller, Olyden
"The Sheriff" Polynice, Charles Oakley, Clarence "The Spoon" Weatherspoon, or Ty "I Would Love To Join Your Team So Long As Charles Oakley Is Not There Too, Unless Of Course You Are Willing To Extinguish My Gambling Debt To Mr. Oakley" Hill.

Has Tony Massenburg been re-signed by the Spurs?

Please advise.

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FN1: Admittedly, we have always had our eyeballs on Nailon, as he always seems light up the Sixers. This first happened one night in 2002, when Baron Davis and Mashburn were out, and then again last season, garnering 23, at the Eff You Center (still have not fully transitioned into using the Wachovia name) under similar circumstances.

FN2: The Sixers' starters are Iverson, Iguodala, Dalembert, Korver and Webber.

FN3: Massenburg has been with 12 organizations (13 cities) in 15 seasons. They are Spurs, Hornets, Celtics, Warriors, Clippers, Raptors, Sixers, Nets, Grizzlies (both Vancouver and Memphis), Rockets, Jazz and Kings. And had we not researched this point, we would have bet twenty bucks he was on the Bulls once.

Picture: Bill Haber/AP

Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins went two for five this afternoon v. the Braves at Turner Field. Rollins has now hit safely in 27 consecutive games, upping his average to .282, good for third among NL shortstops.

The hitting streak started on Tuesday, August 23d in San Francisco. Entering the game that evening, Rollins was batting .262.

He fields well. Among NL shortstops, Rollins, has the fourth lowest amount of errors (11) and the fifth highest fielding percentage (.981).

And he is durable too, playing in all but four games this season.

Rollins' success this year goes against the "contract year" theory too. Since re-upping with a five year contract extension on June 14th, Rollins has turned it on.

If there is any knock against on him, it is that the Phillies have no business batting him leadoff. He walks infrequently. Only 42 free passes so far this year, making him 57th in NL. Not good for a leadoff man.

(Picture: Tom Hood/AP)

Has there been a more exciting end to a MLB season in recent memory? The pennant races, or now with the Wild Card, the playoff races, have produced more ESPNews watching than is ordinary and customary during the September 20s.

The best part of MLB is the playoffs. The second best part is playoff race. Unlike the NBA and NHL, in baseball, making the playoffs is a genuine achievement (FN1).

The Pennant Races

AL East. Yankees v. Red Sox. After all the foibles of the Yankees pitching staff, they seem to have found some W's in Shawn Chacon, Chien-Ming Wang and Aaron Small (who happens to be 9-0). The Sox look to be in trouble. They are in the process of blowing a season-long AL East lead. They have no closer, and perhaps, no dominant starter -- unless of course Schilling comes back to life. Can the Red Sox really achieve success in the playoffs without dominant starters and a reliable closer. No way. Which begs the question, did Theo Epstein really have to let Pedro go? So sad. For them.

AL Central. White Sox v. Indians. Until August, the ChiSox were the holy friggin crap story of the year. Since August, the Indians have become the holy friggin crap story of the year. The Indians, with the fifth lowest payroll ($41M), are the latest example of how a team with a smart GM can outperform one with a rich GM. The A's and the Twins being the best two previous examples of this. Two examples of rich non-playoff teams, are the Phillies and Mets, both which have top five payrolls.

But how about those Indians. To get ready for the playoffs, we suggest you familiarize yourself with the following persons: Travis Hafner, Jhonny (sic) Peralta, Coco Crisp, Grady Sizemore, Scott Elarton, Cliff Lee and Bob Wickman.

AL West. Angels v. Athletics. A's are 2.5 back. The has-money team v. the has-no-money team race. The Angels ($95M) have a top five payroll and the A's ($56M) are $40M less. Now time for the broken record. After losing Tim Hudson and Mark Mulder, how do the A's do it. Answer: Billy Beane is smarter than most GMs (and Joe Morgan too).

NL West. Padres v. Giants. The worst division in baseball, so who knows what can happen here. The Giants are 5 back, but have won 5 in a row. The difference maker, though, is the return of, as Nationals pitcher, John Patterson points out, the Muhammad Ali of baseball, Barry Lamar Bonds. Patterson served as chef tonight to HR 707.

The Wild Card Races

NL. Astros v. Phillies v. Marlins. Unless Houston chokes, which is unlikely with a pitching staff of Roger Clemens, Roy Oswalt and Andy Pettite, the 'Stros strong second half will propel them into the playoffs. Again. Recall they did the same thing last year. If the Phillies need a "how did it happen" refresher, please recall Houston's three game sweep of September 5,6 and 7. Billy Wagner blew two of these games. See, Sept 8th post and Sept 6th post.

AL. The second place finishers from each division will fight until the last day of the season. We have a definite shot at a one game playoff. Given momentum you have to give the odds to a final playoff picture that includes the Yankees and Indians. Our prediction is Yanks win the East, ChiSox the Central, the Angels the West, with the Indians making the Wild Card. We say this because it would be truly remarkable for the ChiSox to blow their once formidable lead.

________________________________
FN1. But see the sadness when your team makes the playoffs and promptly gets gobbled up by a superior team. This happens a lot. Last year's victim was the Los Angeles Dodgers, who were eaten by St. Louis in expeditious fashion.

Picture: Scott Elarton -- AP Photo/Jeff Roberson

Billy King's got the money. One does not need to possess the first name R.C. (as in the Spurs GM) or last name Dumars (Pistons) to know that the salary cap has ushered in a new era of discipline in re NBA player personnel management.

In short, limitless budgets do not equal rings. Or even moderate success.

The best two examples of this proposition are The Philadelphia 76ers and The New York Knicks. This point is perhaps more pertinently illustrated by the Spurs (12th) and Pistons (14th), both of which are no where near the top of the highest salary list. Rather they both remain solidly in the middle of the pack.

The Knicks are first in the NBA in salary (nearing $110 million) and the Sixers are third ($77M). The principal architect of New York's mess is long gone, Scott "Fi-yur Lay-den" Layden. The architect of the Sixers mess remains. And he remains not only employed, but powerful and largely unscathed. (FN1)

Hoops Hype's Billy King page says it the best: Executive of the Year: Never.

Brought to the Sixers in 1997 with Larry Brown, King mercifully permitted the Sixers to move on from the Brad Greenberg era. This was a time when Johnny Davis was the Head Coach. King was universally promoted (by Brown, by the Sixers and by more than some in the press (FN2)) as a wonder-boy/boy-genius, becoming the youngest GM in the NBA. He was 31 then. Until Larry Brown departed for Detroit (Memorial Day 2003) King largely escaped the microscope.

He should not have.

Because the Sixers are owned by the cable giant Comcast, it is in the corporation's best interests to field a great team. Such a team leads to high ratings on Comcast SportsNet and to lucrative advertising rates. The Knicks have the same situation. They are owned by Cablevision.

Evidently Billy King has no limits when it comes to payroll.

Bill Simmons, ESPN's Page Two's Sports Guy, has likened King to a rich, drunk guy with a fistfull of Benjamins in the champagne room at Scores (our paraphrase).

Our friend and top advisor (FN4), Jake, says "he just doesn't seem to have a clue or a plan."

Like usual, Jake is correct. Billy King is a very messed up dude (FN3).

To review.

Head Coach. Make that plural.

After Brown left, King hired Randy Ayres. This period was marked by bad basketball and unruliness. It was reported somewhere (we forget where) that the chicks, you know the hanger-on-ers, the hoochie mamas, were permitted on the team bus (FN5).

In February of last season, Ayres was replaced by Chris Ford. Not cut from the Henry Kissinger mold, Ford's tenure was kicked off by angering Allen Iverson (who happens to be our favorite basketball player) so much that AI decided it was prudent to never again speak to Coach Ford. This was particularly out of character for AI. You see, since AI loves to be loved (as most people do) he can usually be won over by sufficiently buttering him up. Good old fashioned kindness works with AI. Since AI is the team, the buttering up process is fairly worthwhile. At any rate, Ford's reverse Jerry Maguire impression (he had AI pissed off at hello) proved to be the obvious precursor to a new head coach. Enter Jim O'Brien.

O'Brien, a native Philadelphs-ian, a graduate of the illustrious St. Joseph's basketball program (which happens to be good again) a proven NBA winner, was thought to be the long term solution. OB plays a different style ball. He likes to use the Temple, John Chaney-style, half court trap defense. By the way, we would like to deem this the Philadelphia Defense. It is a bit complex when first introduced (so say the writers). It requires a lot of rotations so that there are always two defensive players on the ball handler. This defense proved difficult for many (most notably Sam Dalembert). The Temple alums, Marc Jackson and Aaron McKie, fit right in.

On offense, OB likes the "three ball." So, on both sides of the ball OB had a lot of new things to implement. It was too much for one season. Kenny Thomas was not fitting in right. Neither was Brian Skinner. Both were key pieces (at least looking at their salaries) of Billy King's grand plan (giving Billy the benefit of the doubt in the "he had a plan department"). Since they were not working, King traded them. Just like that.

So much for The Five Year Plan.

Enter Chris Webber. Webber did not work in OB's defense either. He's too slow and cannot rotate properly. After all, he only has one knee left. 2005 was not a successful year. The Sixers barely made the Playoffs. They were quickly shown the door by Detroit.

Next.

So Billy the King fires OB. And hires Mo Cheeks. Cheeks of course is a Sixers legend, having been the point guard of the 1983 World Champions.

All in under two years (Brown quit Memorial Day 2003).

Show Them The Money

Billy King has a tremendously full record of overpaying just about everyone. We will take this from the summer of 2001, the time just after the team made The Finals.

Dikembe "(in a raspy voice) I DO NOT PLAY OFFENSE" Mutombo (July 2001) was re-signed for $65M over 4 yrs. This for a man who may have been 68. After the amazing 2001 season, King, obviously drunk off the excitement signed Deke through his "39th" birthday. Deke claims he was born in June 1966. There are few who believe him, however. The Congo (the nation formerly known as Zaire) does not exactly have a reputable birth certificating process (our term we think). That said, what NBA player deserves big money at ages 36 through 39?

Mutombo was not even all that. Yes, he was a sometimes Defensive Player of the Year. But a closer look at the success of the 2001 Sixers and you will see Deke was not all that key. The Sixers record after acquiring Mutombo was only about .500. Before getting Deke, who was acquired at the 2001 (Feb 22) trade deadline, the Sixers were 41-14. After Deke's arrival, just 27-23 (including the playoffs). As the 41-14 record indicates, with the more athletic, and younger, Theo Ratliff, the Sixers were a tougher team.

What result. Mutombo played one more season in Philadelphs. It was not a great season. Mutombo's nightmare of a contract turned into Keith Van Horn (Aug 2002) who was converted into Glenn Robinson (July 2003), both of whom had similarly nonsensical deals, in terms of both dollars and duration. Van Horn will make $16 million in 2006. The Big Dog made $12 million last season, a season in which he played nine games.

Aaron McKie (July 2001) got SEVEN YEARS AND 42 MILLION. HELLO. Bro is old. He was old in 2001. This contract takes McKie through his 35th birthday. Billy King Newsflash: Guards do not last that long. Hello.

What result. McKie missed most of 2002 and 2003 with injuries. He returned to expert form in 2004, producing great three point numbers. When OB arrived, however, McKie's role slimmed and then just last month King Allan Houston'd him. He was promptly picked up by the Los Angeles Lakers.

Greg Buckner. In July 2002, Billy King snapped up Buckner, and snapped him up for SIX YEARS. Yes, 2008. Bucker, a hardly used back-up in Dallas was given $18 million by Billy King.

What result. Buckner played little in 2003 and 2004. Not jiving with OB's scheme, Buckner was released a year ago and the Sixers' cap still gets dinged by this contract. Expect relief in 2009.

Derrick "I Like To Drink Merlot With Coach Brown" Coleman. After making a couple plays in the Celtics playoff series (2002), DC was rewarded with three more years (through 2006) and $13.5 million. Derrick was born in 1967, making him thirty freaking nine, at the end of this deal. Coo-Coo.

What result. DC performed ok in 2003 but given his age, the Sixers were clearly asking too much from the old man. As in, DC WAS THEIR STARTING FREAKING CENTER. HELLO. DC was traded a year ago to Detroit last summer and never surfaced again. He was recently Allan Houston'd by Detroit.

Kenny "K9" Thomas (July 2003) $40M/7 years. King spent almost every single press availability during the end of the 2003 season discussing Kenny Thomas' importance to the Sixers going forward. Despite having little to no competition for Thomas' services, King doled out $40M, making Thomas a Sixer through 2010.

What result. K9 performed quite well in 2004, serving as one of the few bright spots of the Randy Ayres/Chris Ford debacle. It all changed with OB. Thomas does most of his work around the basket and in the lane. OB wanted the lane cleared for AI's take-offs and landings. K9 strugged and fell out of the long term plan. That quickly. King then moved him in the Webber deal. One of those young for old deals.

Eric Snow. Shortly before the 2004 season, King signed Snow to a $26M extension, locking Snow up through 2009. This was ridiculous for two reasons. One, Snow was not even about to be a free agent and two, there was little to no interest in Snow by any other team.

What result. Snow continued his solid play in 2004. We were grateful for this, given the absence of AI. This changed, however, with the arrival of Jim O'Brien, who wanted to move Iverson to the 1. Consequently, Snow was deemed not-ideal and was moved to Cleveland for Kevin Ollie and Kedrick Brown. Snow played little in Cleveland, as has Ollie in Philadelphs. Kedrick Brown was released after spending almost no time on the Sixers active roster during 2005.

Brian Skinner (July 2004) $25M/5 yrs. During one of the Sixers v. Bucks games last season, Bucks' play by play announcer, Jim Paschke, observed that the Sixers were crazy to give Skinner $25 million and five years. He said that the Bucks' medical staff determined Skinner to have a bad knee. Paschke said the Bucks may not be playing great basketball right now, but they are not stupid. They happily let the Sixers pay Skinner that kind of money.

What result. Skinner played not at all in Jim O'Brien's scheme. He was the third string center (behind Dalembert and Marc Jackson) and was basically getting paid for coming to practice. He was then traded in the Webber trade along with K9 and Corliss Williamson.

The craziness continues. Just this offseason, King has inked Dalembert, Korver and Willie Green to six year deals. All for loads of money.

Sam "I've Got Huge Upside Potential" Dalembert. Just last month signed a six year, $64 million dollar deal.

Kyle "White Out" Korver. Just signed a six year, $25 million dollar gig. KK shoots a mean three ball, but does not play a lick of defense. Could you ever imagine the Bulls paying Steve Kerr that kind of money.

Willie "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" Green. The back-up guard who only receives minutes when Iverson is in street clothes got six years and $20 million (FN5).

Steven Hunter ($16.5M/4 yrs. A guy who gets 10-15 minutes a night.

Our simple conclusion. The Sixers are very messed up. So is Billy King.

____________________________________________________________
FN1: Note to Sixers fans -- Do not expect Ed Snider (the man in charge of Comcast's Sixers entity) to fire Billy King. He does not do that sort of thing. See Flyers GM Bobby Clarke as evidence of this.

FN2: By the press here we do not mean the basketball press, but rather the non-basketball press, such as, the Philadelphia Daily News gossip columns, the Philadelphia Inquirer's Daily Magazine and Philadelphia Magazine, all of which have fawned over Billy King and his bald head since his arrival. He is always talked about being hip and cool, smoking cigars at cool bars, attending charity balls, hob-nobbing with hot chicks, wearing cool threads, and did we mention cigars. Anyway, all that stuff rocks, ok. Good for Billy. The more poon-tang the better. We approve! What does not rock is the fact that Sixers have the third highest payroll in the NBA but cannot seem to get back to the Eastern Conference Finals. What does not rock is the fact that the Sixers have a new coach every year.

FN3: But cf. Ed Wade, who is a stupidhead.

FN4: Not selling short any of the important contributions of our other top advisor, Eric, an independent force in his own right. A force in fact that would be impossible to overstate.

FN4: We have personally observed this with the Celtics too. Last winter we saw Gary Payton get off of the Celtics team bus with a most lovely hanger-on-er. An official hoochie mama. (It was all good.)

FN5: Green's deal is on hold. In a not smart move, Green wrecked his knee before signing the deal. He will likely miss the whole season. See post of Aug 19.

(Picture: Billy King and Leslie Guidel from 32 degrees, Luxe Lounge website)

If one's wife buys rhinestone Weezer panties, is this a good thing? Please advise.

(Picture: weezer.com from video of "We're All On Drugs.")

Disasters produce heroes. Goats too, but in lieu of being a sourpuss, we call your attention to a very important person, Lt. Gen. Russel Honore, the man who appears to be in charge of New Orleans right now. Yes, there is the new FEMA guy (Thad Allen) and others, but General Honore, by many accounts is the man.

Like everyone, we sat in a shocked, open-mouthed, paralyzed stupor during the week Katrina wrecked the Big Easy. As the politicians held press conferences and staged "briefings" to look engaged, General Honore was flying around the city in a Blackhawk helicopter and other military vehicles, surveying the scene, saving lives and all in all getting people moving.

He has a very cool Louisiana accent, carries a cigar at all times, and uses the CB radio term "over" when being interviewed to signal to the interviewer that he is done speaking.

As the Mayor blames the Feds, and the Feds blame the Mayor (FN1), and everyone blames FEMA and Mike Brown, Honore was busy saving as much of the city as he could.

As Theodore Roosevelt would surely say about Honore,

That man is bully!
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FN1: We think it is a bit lame for the Feds to blame the Mayor. Certainly things could have been done better on his end (like, getting all the buses in the city, school buses included, to drive around and pick-up residents for the evacuation) but this disaster was a bit over the head of a third rate politician in a disadvantaged city. Beating up Mayor Ray Nagin at this stage of the game is a bit like blaming the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center.

Being from Penn State, we sort of shake our head wow (and mostly . . . whoa) when a Nittany Lion shows up in the NBA. See for example, Calvin Booth. (See also, John Amaechi.) Last week, Booth was signed by Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld to add some more height to their not-tall bench.

Booth was a redshirt freshman during our Penn State senior year (1995). We watched his goofy ass hover around the PSU BB team in Dockers and plaid button down dress shirts. He was really tall and thin. He walked with a weird, wobbly gate. So wobbly in fact, we wondered how he mustered a scholarship (other than he appears to be eight feet tall). Anyway, as he progressed, and moved on into the NBA, we watched with an open-mouthed "whoa."

Originally a second round pick of the Wizards in 1999, Booth was here in D.C. for two seasons. Since the Wizards were pathetic then, Booth got some minutes and we watched him play. He started sometimes. He worked hard and developed a decent inside presence. His defense is not bad. He usually blocks at least one shot per night (not bad for fifteen minutes a game). He knows how to set a pick and he does other things that do not necessarily show up in the scoresheet. Bulking up a good bit, he evidently worked hard in the weight room and we assume with team nutritionists. After being traded to Dallas, he worked himself into a big contact with Seattle following the 2001 season. So big, in fact, he was just Allan Houston'd by the Milwaukee Bucks (FN1).

Clearly, signing Calvin Booth to big money is not smart. Something Billy King or Mark Cuban might do. Or something Mark Bartelstein might induce. He is not durable (Games played = 51 (2005), 71(2004), 47 (2003), 15 (2002) and 55 (2001)). He is not a numbers getter, averaging 4 points, 3 boards and 14 minutes per game over his career. That said, at a low price (FN2), Calvin Booth is a great pick-up for the Wizards and their very un-Billy King-like, Ernie Grunfeld. By way of example, Billy King signed a similar player, Steven Hunter, to a four year, $16.5 deal, to add height to the Sixers' not-tall bench.

We expect a good year from Booth. If healthy, he will get 10-14 mins a night, block some shots, set some picks, clear some lane-age for Arenas and Jamison and serve as a legitimate tall big man for the Wizards. Their other back-up big men are not tall, Etan Thomas and Michael Ruffin. Both are in the 6-8 to 6-9 region (FN3). Against tall teams last year the Wizards were toast. Booth is not a savior but he will add height, depth, and up to six fouls when needed.

We are glad he is back.

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FN1: He was traded back to Dallas last July in the Danny Fortson deal, and then to Milwaukee at the trading deadline (Feb 2005).

FN2: We know Booth's price is low because it is not printed anywhere. The teams never leak the salary, only the agents. When a salary is not leaked, its lowness speaks for itself. We guess Booth will have an incentive-laden deal coming in at under $1M. Since he is still owed $13M on his original deal, money means little for Booth. Anything he gets is gravy.

FN3: Thomas is listed at 6-10. That must be with the afro, though. We've seen him at his poetry readings and he appears to not be 6-10. Etan Thomas rocks, however. Always plays with lots of energy and effort.

Picture: From the NBA's All-Ugly Team.

Today, our hero, Placido Polanco went 4 for 5, with a homer and two rbi's, raising his average to .348 since arriving in Detroit from Philadelphs. Ed Wade, the Phillies GM, as stated previously, likes David Bell more. Nobody knows why. Today Bell was 1 for 4. He hits .244 and commits lots of errors (3d most errors in NL at present).

(Photo Credit: AP/Duane Burleson)

As previously mentioned in this space, the Phillies just had a crucial three game series v. Houston prior to which they held a half game lead in the Wild Card.

After losing Monday and Tuesday, falling one and half games back, last night's game was one of those cliched must wins.

Down 5-3 in the eighth, the Phillies rallied to score three. 6-5 Phillies.

Holy Mother Effer. FOR REAL.

Finally. Right?

Ninth inning baseball.

The loquacious (FN1) all-star closer Billy Wagner takes the mound and promptly retires the first two batters he faces. One out to go. One out from being a half game back and in real contention for the Playoffs.

Playoffs?

Jose Vizcaino the batter. Routine ground ball to third base. Bell gloves and he . . . he MISSES. Error David Bell.

E5.

Bell's 19th error of the campaign. Bell has committed the second most errors among third basemen this year. Only the Diamondbacks' Troy Glaus has more (21). Bell is particularly a bummer since the Phils had a perfectly capable third basemen in Placido Polanco (see post immediately below).

Vizcaino safe at first. Next batter, Willy Taveras reaches base on an infield hit, off of Jimmy Rollins' glove. Then, with two on and two out, Craig Biggio belts his 20th homer of the year.

As Biggio rounds the bases, Wagner contemplates why the fans boo so much.

(AP Photo by Rusty Kennedy)


Astros 8 Phillies 6

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FN1. Wagner, a free agent at year's end, has spent most of the year campaigning through the media for his next contract. Interestingly enough, he has also spent considerable time bashing the Phillies faithful in the media, stating that they are stupid and they boo too much. Wait a second, who's stupid? Probably not the best strategery (as SNL might say) to keep your jersey sales high. That said, I suppose Wagner never went to White House Press Secretary's school of media relations.

We miss ye.

After whining his way through his Phillies tenure, Scott Rolen, was mercifully, for us, traded to the St. Louis Cardinals on July 29, 2002.

A great talent for sure. Especially with his glove. Almost as good as Schmitty (disclosure: Mike Schmidt happens to be our favorite baseball player ever). Larry Bowa said Rolen saved ninety runs a year with his glove.

But bro also carried a long face. All the time. He hated Philadelphs. Hated Manager Larry Bowa.

Anyway.

In the Rolen deal we got Placido Polanco. Who turns out to be a fine fellow.

Polanco, though not an All-Star, is a gamer. Plays second or third base (or outfield or shortstop). Has a good glove. He hits -- having a career batting average near .300 (at .299 right now).

Since Phillies GM Ed Wade is a stupid person, he decided to not proceed with the Polanco-3B strategy. Instead bringing in David "I Am A Very Short Third Baseman And My Back Hurts" Bell. The Bell acquisition caused Polanco to move to 2B temporarily. This because Chase Utley, the everyday 2B of the future was in the wings. With Utley the man this year, Polanco was the odd man out. Consequently he was traded to Detroit.

We miss him. We do not understand why Polanco loses the David Bell v. Placido Polanco contest.

Bell's career avg is .255. Polanco, as mentioned above, hits nearly .300.

Bell's glove is not good. In 2004 he committed 24 errors. And 18 errors thus far in 2005. He has hit double digits in errors six seasons. Polanco in contrast has 42 errors in his career.

Re Slugging. Bell is at .396 for the career. Polanco, .412.

Re On Base %. Bell, .317. Polanco, .345.

Re Spanish. Bell, no. Polanco, yes.

Moreover, Polanco is from the Dominican Republic.

We miss Placido.

As of Monday, the Phillies had a 1/2 game lead over Houston in the Wild Card. Guess who came to town Monday for a three game series? Yep -- Houston. A big series. As of Tuesday, they have lost the first two. Can they hold on?

Probably not. They never do.

The Phillies are losingest team in the history of professional sports. At present, they are 130 games shy of 10,000 losses, which counts for worst pro sports team ever. EV-ER. See this important web contribution.

In addition to losing more than other teams, the Phillies, when they get close, blow it. But see, this one time; 1980.

2004. Fail to hold on to first place in the NL East, which was theirs by three games on July 5.

2003. Up a 1/2 game on the Marlins in the Wild Card on September 19th, the Phillies lose 7 of 8, and not only miss the PLAYOFFS (said with a Jim Mora, Sr. whine) but fall 5 games back to the Marlins. The Marlins go on to win the 2003 World Series.

2001. Nearly going worst to first, the Cinderella Phillies failed to hold off the late charging Atlanta Braves, finishing 2 games back in the NL East.

1993. After rallying in game six v. Toronto, hoping to tie the Series at 3, the John Kruk/Lenny Dykstra-led Phillies blew the World Series by serving up, courtesy Mitch "The Wild Thing" Williams, a series winning walk off grand slam to Joe Carter.

1983. The Phillies blew a one game to love World Series advantage v. Baltimore, losing four straight, including the last three at home.

1978. The Phillies promptly lost the first two games to the Dodgers in the NLCS. AT HOME.

1977. The Phillies blew a one game to none lead v. the Dodgers. Trying to stave off elimination in game four (it was best of five back then) they thought they had the Dodgers. Bottom of the ninth, with two outs to go, up by three runs (5-2), the Phillies permitted the Dodgers to rally and win the game. And the NLCS.

And the Granddaddy of them all, what has been termed the greatest collapse in the history of sports:

1964. With 12 games to play and 6 1/2 game lead, the Phillies blew it, losing ten in a row, the first eight AT HOME, losing the Pennant to St. Louis.

The Phillies have always been losers. Especially early on. The Phillies have lost 100 games during fourteen separate seasons: 1904 (100), 1921 (103), 1923 (104), 1927 (103), 1928 (109), 1930 (102), 1936 (100), 1938 (105), 1939 (106), 1940 (103), 1941 (111), 1942 (109), 1945 (108), and 1961 (107). Five seasons in a row, 1938-42, they lost over 100 games. Painful.

The Phillies have finished in last place more times than any other NL team.

It should not be the case any more, however. Since they got a new stadium, revenues have been high. So have the payrolls.

At present, the Phillies have the fifth highest payroll in baseball at $95 million. Trailing only the California (FN1) Angels ($98M), Mets ($101M), Red Sox ($123M) and the Yanks ($208M). Compare, Braves ($86M), Astros ($77M), White Sox ($75M), Marlins ($60M) and the recently homeless Expos turned crazy-Nats ($49M).

Ed Wade is possibly the worst GM in baseball. The longest tenured GM (other than the Devil Rays' Chuck LaMar) in MLB without a playoff appearance. Eight terrible years.

So with all this money (and time), why can't Ed Wade orchestrate a winner?

The answer: Ed Wade is a stupid head.

Oh no, wait. It is the fans. The fans are the reason. They boo too much.

So my fellow Philadelphs fans. Please do not get your hopes up.

Picture: Rusty Kennedy/AP. Billy Wagner, tonight's losing pitcher, who has been exceedingly critical of the fans and their tendency to boo, expresses frustration after allowing the Astros to score the go-ahead run in the ninth inning tonight. If the Phils are to make it to the Playoffs this year, they will need Wagner to not blow games. Were we at this game, we would boooooooooooooooooooooooo.

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FN1: We refuse to call the Angels the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, a plainly ridiculous name. They do not play in LA. The Dodgers do. We would call them the Anaheim Angels, but they obviously hate that, so we will go back to what they used to be called.

New professional sports team owners should not liberate their internet fantasy teams. They should keep them and hire real professionals to run the real teams.

When we moved to D.C. in 1999 we were awestruck by the shenanigans Daniel Snyder was employing with his new toy, the Washington Redskins. Every off season, there is a ridiculous story in the Washington Post about Snyder flying around the country on his Redskins One, gihugic (our word) airplane courting has-been candidates for cap destroying, nonsensical signings. It is hard to come to any conclusion but (and the Redskins W-L record has born this out) Snyder is a too rich, spoiled brat who plans to treat a real life football team as his personal fantasy squad.

Newsflash: it does not work. And Snyder, you are a stupid face.

We initially saw Mark Cuban as somewhat different (despite his ridiculous attire and habit of joining the Mavs' huddle when play stops . . . he really does this). It should be immediately noted that Cuban loves his fans, his players and his city, so we are not really bashing his effort or desire. Any trip to FedEx Field will immediately FedEx you a hatred of Dan Snyder. He is no Mark Cuban.

Anyway.

In the NBA, unlike the NFL, one player can truly transform your franchise into a title contender. Shaq to Miami is the latest example of this. See also Michael Jordan. So when Cuban bought the Mavs during the middle of the 2000 season, it was the beginning of an interesting experiment: can you buy an NBA title.

It turns out, unless you buy Shaq (btw, Miami gives a shout out to Mitch "I Always Look Like I Am Taking A Poop In My Boxer Shorts" Kupchak for giving Shaq up) or Michael Jordan, you probably cannot.

At present, Dallas has the second highest payroll in the league, behind only the Knicks. The Knicks, by the way, are the text book example of Salary Cap Malpractice. With the exception of Dirk Nowitski ($15M) Marquis Daniels ($5M) and Josh Howard (rookie contract) every Maverick is exceedingly overpaid.

The result is a big mess.

As the Michael Finely situation has signaled, what the heck is going on in Dallas? Of all Finley's suitors, only one, Phoenix, was able to offer him a starting role. Essentially Finley joins San Antonio to be their sixth man. To be their new Ginobili -- an off-the-bench scorer. What the heck is Finley doing making $16 to $18M a year over the next three seasons. That is Allen Iverson money. (Disclosure: Allen Iverson happens to be our favorite basketball player.) Finley is a quality player, a two time all-star, a good shooter, but he is not Allen Iverson. He is not a one man team. He is not a five time all-star.

Other features of Dallas salary cap mess:

Keith Van Horn, $15.7M next year. Likely will not start. Or be the Sixth man.

Jerry Stackhouse, $7.5M. Sixth man.

Erick "When Shaq Plays The Worst Game Of His Career, He Says He Plays Like Me" Dampier. Signed through 2011 (not joking) at dollars that raise every year up to $12.2M in 2011. Surely Dampier will be long retired by 2011.

Jason Terry, $7.5M. And he's not even Jerry Stackhouse.

You know if the Spurs people -- real sports professionals -- were running Cuban's shop, Finley would be making Jason Terry money, and Steve Nash would still be a Mav (although signing Nash through 2011 is a huge risk). You also know that Antawn Jamison would never had been brought on as a $10M+ sixth man. Jamison spawned Stackhouse.

Re Defense. You know if the Spurs people were running Cuban's team, they would have found a shot blocking center and either a big 4 to allow Dirk to play the 3, or an athletic defense-first 3 (perhaps a George Lynch), to make the Mavs tougher defensively. Don Nelson never would have been retained. It does not take a Spurs exec to reveal that defense wins in the NBA Playoffs. Accordingly, Don Nelson is not your man. Neither is Donn Nelson. Nor Del Harris.

They also would have drafted. Yes, drafted. Cuban had no first rounders in 2001 or 2002. Finally, in 2003, he got a pick and took Josh Howard, last in the first round. Cuban actually out-drafted San Antonio in '03. The Spurs picked Leandro Barbosa, now a Sun.

The moral of the story is, when you buy a pro sports team, keep your fantasy team on line and hire some people that know what they are doing.


(picture from ABC's The Benefactor)